Hi William, that’s a good point! I actually have not asked her how she felt about my role in the situation, when we tried to talk about it I was still coming from a place of “why did you freak out that day?” and she refused to go into it further. So I actually didn’t consider that maybe she would have wanted me to take her side in that moment, maybe that was the true pro-black thing to do, though I suppose I assumed it would have gotten us kicked out and the idea of that was humiliating. She and I had a major conversation about how sometimes she feels like I look at her through a white lens, because sometimes she draws so much attention to herself that it makes me uncomfortable, and it makes me uncomfortable because I worry about the effect it has on white society and how we are perceived, when I view myself as a “refined” black girl. It’s sad because we can carry ourselves however we want, but the moment we lose our cool they throw those stereotypes back in our faces.
Thanks for raising this, it made me think even more, and I’ll be posting more content soon!